Why It’s Better To Fail Than To Be A Victim

The difference between failing and being a victim is a mindset. It’s about who you think is in control. Victims think bad things happen to them. There’s nothing they can do to change their circumstances. Those that think they failed can learn from what they missed and change their future results.

In either case, problems don’t get solved until someone recognizes them and takes responsibility for solving them.

  • If the problem is beyond my control and not recognized, I’m ignorant.
  • If the problem is beyond my control and not solvable, I’m a victim.
  • If the problem is beyond my control and solvable, I support.
  • If the problem is mine to solve and not recognized, I’m delusional.
  • If the problem is mine to solve and not solvable, I fail.
  • If the problem is mine to solve and solvable, I’m going to solve it.

Job 1 is to recognize problems. There’s nothing you can do if you’re ignorant about problems beyond your control or delusional about your own problems.

Then choose your foot. Choose the back foot. Choose to do nothing about problems that are beyond your control and not fixable. And you choose to be a victim.

Or choose the front foot. Choose to support those solving problems beyond your control. Choose to accept failure for problems that are yours to solve, but not solvable. Accept failure and move on to the next challenge.

Recognizing and solving problems is always better than not solving them. Leverage comes from supporting others in solving problems as opposed to solving them yourself. This leads to this order of preference:

1.    Support others in solving problems.

2.    Solve problems yourself.

3.    Fail to solve problems yourself.

4.    Victim of others’ not solving problems.

5.    Ignorant of others’ problems.

6.    Delusional about your own problems.

Back to our opening point. It is better to fail than to be a victim. But best of all is supporting others in solving problems.

Travel

We’ve all seen people take each of these different approaches to travel problems.

The delusional often don’t allow time for the unexpected. These people miss trains, planes, ferries and the like on a regular basis and don’t recognize their own problem.

The ignorant expect everything to work as promised. They miss connections because they don’t allow enough time.

Victims blame someone else for things that go wrong.

Those failing learn from their own mistakes and adjust the next time.

Problem solvers leap into action and find a way around the inevitable travel problems and delays.

Supporters devote their energy to prompting, coaching and enabling others to solve those same problems as opposed to solving them themselves.

Organizational Problem Solving

Make sense so far? Why then are there so many people with a back foot, victim mentality in your organization? Because that’s what your balance of consequences produces.

The larger a corporation gets, the more people there are that can say “no.” Victims feel bad about what’s being done to them. They are hoping, but not expecting others to solve the organization’s problems. Until then, they keep their heads down and don’t expose themselves to further negative consequences.

Those that take a chance and try to solve a problem get positive rewards if they can overcome all those that can say “no” and push through a solution. They also expose themselves to the negative consequences of failure.

If you’re having a hard time getting people to step up, take a risk, and take ownership of problem solving, your balance of consequences produces that.

To make your life even worse, option 5 just got taken off the table. You can no longer claim ignorance of the problem. Your choice is front foot or back foot.

Assuming you choose the front foot, here’s the prescription:

1.    Start by rewarding failure. Acknowledge the failed result and then move to all the positives including: people stepping up to try, the way they attacked the problem, what they learned that can be applied productively to other problems.

2.    Then start prompting the behaviors of solving problems and supporting others in solving problems.

The order matters. Don’t prompt the new behaviors until the organization is rewarding them. No excuse. Be a leader, not a victim.

Click here for a list of my Forbes articles and a summary of my book on executive onboarding: The New Leader’s 100-Day Action Plan.

Read More Articles

A large crowd of people seated closely together, viewed from behind, attending an event or presentation in a dimly lit venue.
The Stakeholders You’re Not Thinking About – And Why They Can Derail Your First 100 Days

Cracker Barrel made headlines when its relatively new CEO departed after less than two years in the role they were hired to transform. The reasons were complex, but one thread…

Read Article
A person holding a clipboard with a blank sheet of paper and a pen poised to write
Outcome-Based Governance: Aligning Policies, Guidelines, and Principles

Policies channel compliance. Guidelines invite contribution. Principles earn commitment. Start with how you want people to behave at work and then design your governance stack to reinforce, not inhibit that.  Three…

Read Article
Concept image of human brain made of blue and gray paint brushes
The Neuroscience of Leadership: Accelerating Growth Mindset and Enterprise Performance

Organizations’ futures depend less on what their people know today than on how fast they can learn, adapt, and execute tomorrow. Building on Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset – the idea that abilities can be…

Read Article
A group of professionals collaborating.
Everything Communicates: Especially As and To an Executive Onboarding into a New Role

Everything communicates. Everything you say and don’t say, do and don’t do, and the order in which you say and do it sends a message. The same is true for everyone around you. As an executive onboarding into a…

Read Article
Group team working in a office.
Designing The Right Offsites for Different Leadership Levels

Offsites can be rocket fuel or expensive theater. One difference is whether you design each for the kind of leadership each level needs to provide: cultural, strategic, operational, or tactical. When you nest your offsites to fit those roles, you…

Read Article
Argentina flag with the body shape of the country in soccer field.
Strategic Adaptation in Leadership: Lessons from the Argentina–England World Cup Semi-Final

The Argentina–England World Cup semi-final was not just a game; it was a live case study in how leaders deploy strategy and tactics—and what happens when they fail to adjust…

Read Article