How To Get Others To Follow When You Lead By Example

Many lead by example. Unfortunately, not everyone will follow the example you set, especially if you are new to the organization. Improve that by understanding context and vocabulary and changing frameworks, the narrative and processes – in that order.

One of the main insights from my executive onboarding work over the past decade goes to the advantage of converging before evolving. No one is going to follow you anywhere, anytime until you have earned the right to lead. Consider these five steps:

1. Understand current behaviors, relationships, attitudes, values and environment.

2. Learn and use their vocabulary, not yours.

3. Add new frameworks to stimulate new thinking.

4. Strengthen the narrative and emotional connections.

5. Modify processes to build muscle memory around the change.

Understand The Current State

All meaningful change has a cultural component. A big part of converging is building an understanding of the current culture by asking the five most important questions for BRAVE leaders to understand an organization’s behaviors, relationships, attitudes, values and environment.

Learn Their Vocabulary

Every organization has its own vocabulary. Some even publish glossaries of their most used acronyms. But common words mean different things in different organizations. One client scheduled a meeting with me. When I showed up in his office at the appointed time he asked me why I was there. “Meeting” in his language meant phone call. Either way, don’t battle vocabulary. Adopt theirs.

The same is true with values. Vocabulary and values are foundational and sticky.

Add Frameworks

Every organization has its own frameworks for thinking things through. Some are explicit. Some are implicit.

It turns out this is the easiest first point of intervention. You can get people thinking about things in new ways by introducing new frameworks. Doing this doesn’t suggest you think there’s anything wrong with what they are doing or thinking (which would be threatening). Instead, new frameworks lead to their coming up with different insights and potentially new choices and behaviors (which is empowering). Net, start here.

Strengthen The Narrative

At the last CEO Connection CEO Boot Camp, Oratory Glory’s Holley Murchison led a powerful discussion about the importance of narrative. Some of her main points:

• We communicate with stories.

• The hallmark of a good story is emotion.

• Your narrative/story is a way to communicate why we’re here, what we’re trying to accomplish and how we’re going to connect to get things done.

• Start by thinking about your audience and how you can create space for your audience to hear your story. Be intentional about your audience to make them feel like the narrative is about them.

• There should be one master narrative told by different people to different audience members in different ways.

• Stories that feed the narrative can be built on background and interests, values and beliefs, passions and aspirations and skills and achievements.

Net, once you’ve got their minds engaged with new frameworks and new thinking, get their hearts engaged with a new narrative and emotional connections.

Modify Processes

Then change the way work is done to embed the new thinking and new stories. Processes tend to be the hardest to change. This is why you should tackle them last and why you should tackle them at all. They are the hardest for you to change to deliver the outcomes suggested by the frameworks you put in place and mandated by the new narrative. And they will be the hardest for others to change to undue the frameworks and narrative you put in place.

These suggestions are in complete alignment with the prescriptions in my earlier article on “Executive Onboarding: The Key to Accelerating Success and Reducing Risk in a New Job“:

1. Get a head start. Start converging even before day one, learning about the existing culture and jumpstarting relationships.

2. Manage the message and the narrative and stories about you.

3. Build the team, honoring existing vocabulary and values and then introducing new frameworks, a new narrative and stories and new processes – in that order.

Read More Articles

Group team working in a office.
Designing The Right Offsites for Different Leadership Levels

Offsites can be rocket fuel or expensive theater. One difference is whether you design each for the kind of leadership each level needs to provide: cultural, strategic, operational, or tactical. When you nest your offsites to fit those roles, you…

Read Article
Argentina flag with the body shape of the country in soccer field.
Strategic Adaptation in Leadership: Lessons from the Argentina–England World Cup Semi-Final

The Argentina–England World Cup semi-final was not just a game; it was a live case study in how leaders deploy strategy and tactics—and what happens when they fail to adjust…

Read Article
Confident executive standing on a modern stage, delivering a presentation
Act Like You’re Already Successful to Jump-Start Success

Success doesn’t start when you “make it.” It starts when you behave like you already have. The best leaders - whether they are taking on a new CEO role, launching…

Read Article
Picture of the Allies Normandy World War II amphibious assault D‑Day
Why Leaders Get the Followers and Decisions They Deserve

Leaders don’t simply get the followers they deserve; they get the decisions they design for. When leaders understand the different ways people create value - artistically, scientifically, and interpersonally -…

Read Article
Primegenesis Operational Leadership
The Underappreciated Power of Operational Leadership

Operational leadership is the undervalued fulcrum between theory and reality. It is where strategy stops living in slide decks, where culture becomes observable behavior, and where tactics gain the coherence…

Read Article
NBA Champions game
The Stockdale Paradox: Preparing Your Leadership Team for Adversity

Down 29 points in the third quarter of Game 4 of the 2026 NBA Finals, the New York Knicks did something that had never been done in Finals history. With…

Read Article