Everything communicates. And, unfortunately, the same words and actions communicate differently to people with different cultural contexts. As a case in point, there are two words for “truth” in Japan. “Tatemae” is the public truth that maintains harmony. “Honne” represents a person’s true feelings, thoughts, and desires, and is generally reserved for private settings. People get Tatemae in the office, while Honne takes years of trust or a couple of beers to earn.
This is why you need to interpret public, Tatemae communication, going well beyond translating to getting at its meaning and intent in understandable terms. Listen to words, tone, contextual and non-verbal cues. Confirm and clarify. Interpret for others.
It’s relatively easy to understand that different countries have different languages and even different meanings to words in the same language. Telling a young lady in the UK that you’re going to “knock her up” at 6pm for your first date means that’s when you’re going to knock on her door. In the USA, it means “getting her pregnant” – normally not appropriate for a first date.
Words mean different things in different organizations. One client set up a “meeting” for 2:00 on a Friday afternoon. When I showed up in his office, he asked what I was doing there. “We have a meeting.” He pointed to his phone. “Meeting” to him meant phone call.
Further, departments in the same organization have different perspectives on the same concepts, often leading to mis-understanding and mis-communication. One corporate leader spent a day with a salesman. After one sales call, they had this conversation.
“Do you know that we lose money on every case you sell at the price.”
“I do.”
“Then why are you pushing it that hard.”
“Because I’m tasked with, recognized, and compensated on revenue, not profits. I can only assume that, if I’m asked to sell a deal like that, the people in the corporate office – including you – are asking me to sell it for a reason.”
Interpretive Approach
Listen to words, tone, contextual, and non-verbal cues. They all communicate. In my early days at Procter & Gamble I wore a set of suspenders my wife had gotten for me. (Unlike me, she has a good fashion sense.) My boss said, “Nice suspenders.” So, a few weeks later, I wore them again. This time his comment was, “I thought we talked about those.” I hadn’t placed his initial comment in the context of an organization in which no one dressed to stand out.
Another important context is the communicator’s balance of the three goods that drive happiness: doing good for others, things they are good at, and things that are good for them.
Confirm and clarify. I could have avoided the second comment if I just confirmed my boss’s initial comment with something like, “You like them.” He could have said, “Yes, but not here.” It generally takes just a few seconds to play something back to someone and can save all sorts of downstream errors.
Interpret for others. Once you understand someone’s real meaning and intent, you can help others by interpreting for them. The highest praise Coca-Cola CEO Doug Ivester would ever give someone presenting three-year plans was to ask “What would it take to deliver your year three targets in year two!” The correct answer to that question was “Thank you. We’ll work on it.” Helping others be ready for that saved them all sorts of unnecessary stress.
Requirements
Strengths are built on innate talent, with learned knowledge, practiced skills, hard-won experience, and, at the highest level, apprenticed craft-level caring and sensibilities. Interpreting well requires strengths in cultural sensitivity, listening, and quick thinking.
Build cultural sensitivity by learning about the culture you’re working in. Practice the cultural habits. Immerse yourself in the culture to experience it by living in the country, converging into the organization, or cross-training in other departments.
Strengthen your listening skills by learning the language or organizational or departmental short-hand. Practice active listening and confirming and clarifying in low-stress situations. Put yourself in situations where you need to listen to build your experience.
Quick thinking is all about adapting. It’s about ratcheting up your own current best thinking without being thrown by the realization that you had misinterpreted something. When that happens, own the mistake. Learn from it. Move on to get the next one right.
In sum, be aware of your own biases so you can cut through them to get at the Honne truth without investing a couple of years or beers.
