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Leadership is about inspiring and enabling others to do their absolute best, together to realize a meaningful and rewarding shared purpose. It is not about de-motivating and blocking others' efforts. This is why passive-aggressive behavior is generally counter-productive. (To be fair, sometimes it's the absolute best way to lead change.)
Over the past few weeks, the Wisconsin senate Democrats deployed a strong passive-aggressive technique. They walked out. In fact, they left the state so the Republicans would not have a quorum to debate and vote on a bill they disagreed with.
The good news about this is that this behavior was blatant. Everybody knew what they were doing and why they were doing it. In many ways, this is easier to deal with than hidden passive-aggressive behavior when someone says they are going to do something and then just doesn't do it or never quite gets to it.
Anyway, in this case, after several weeks and multiple efforts to get the Democrats to come back, the Republicans split out the financial part of the bill and voted on the rest. They did not let the Democrats' passive-aggressive behavior stop them from doing what they needed to do.
Don't Let Passive-Aggressive Behavior Stop What You Need to Do
Bryan Smith lays out five different leadership skills to "persuade" someone:
- Tell – The traffic policeman on the corner tells you to detour right. Not a lot of discussion. He or she is in charge, you are directed.
- Sell – I know I'm right and am going to persuade you to buy my idea.
- Test – I've got an idea that I'd like to run by you. I'm interested in what you think. This encourages you.
- Consult – I've got an idea that I'd like you to help me improve. I'm open to your input and this makes you feel valued
- Co-Create – Let's solve this problem together, starting with a blank page as partners.
Co-creating takes the most work, but yields the best engagement because, by definition, everyone helped create the effort.
Consulting is a little less work, and yields good engagement.
Testing is neutral. It's what you do after testing that's important.
Selling is more one-way, and poses some engagement risk if people feel over-sold.
Telling is the most invasive, and poses the greatest engagement risk.
By withdrawing, the Wisconsin Senate Democrats made it impossible for the Republicans to do anything but wait or tell. They waited as long as they could and then told.
Collaborate if you can. Direct if you must. Either way, leaders need to lead the way forward.
